July 4th 2014

Tonight was a very entertaining evening. I have a long term friend Chris who I've known since he was brought home at the age of six months old. A strange phrase, but you see he was adopted. Around 10 years ago Chris discussed with me finding his birth mother. It is a huge undertaking both mentally and emotionally for someone who was adopted to set out on a journey to find out who he is. Months of specialist counselling has to take place first to assess whether the person who is looking for their mother can cope with the outcome. Would the path to finding his birth mother be smooth? Would she welcome him, would he be rejected? How would his parents who he calls mum and dad and who adopted him feel about his wish to find her. Well as it happens the first part of the worry failed to materialise and has been an absolute joy to see develop. He met his mum Jen for the first time 2 years ago in her native Northumberland, and I remember the subsequent call by Chris "for the first time in my life I look at a photograph and see me looking back from someone else and where I came from".

His 'new' family have embraced him and as his burgeoning family expand, they are increasingly off to do mother and son things at regular intervals. Tonight I met Jen and her husband of 30+ years Jim (unrelated to Chris) for the first time. And they are both lovely and Chris is obviously over the moon finding his mum. They are all en-route to a fortnight's holiday in Cornwall and came to me for the evening during a stop over. I had envisaged taking a photograph of us all to celebrate, but it just didn't seem right this time. A photo therefore of the preparations of industrial sized quantities of food for the event.  I'm so pleased for Chris, a long journey but one which has been a resounding success. Well almost, as sadly his parents (those who adopted him) are less than happy this has happened and a distinct frostiness has developed between them all. I don't think Chris's adoptive parents and Jen will ever meet, something Chris is desperate to happen as he has never wanted to move on from the couple who made him who he is and loved him as their own son.  I can't put myself in the mind of parents who adopted a son and presumably feel rejected. I just don't know. It would be nice if this was resolved though, life is too short not to be happy.